The Archives
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A Day in the Life
Ah, Spring.
When the young man’s fancy turns to “where the hell did I put my cargo shorts last fall?”
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A Day in the Life
Snow Day Redux
For the second year in a row, classes have been canceled due to snow. Best of all, most of the snow is coming during the day, when I’ll be awake to enjoy it. In the meantime, please review my scientific proof explaining how awesome snow days are.
In what scientists will doubtlessly (and breathlessly) refer to as Dominic’s Icy Precipitate Postulate of ‘09, I postulate the following.
The awesomeness of a snow day [UPDATED FOR 2010] is directly proportional to how much you expect it to happen. For instance, as a wee child, you expect the heavens to issue a salvo of powdery white “Get Out of Doing Homework Free” cards upon command. I mean, you begged and pleaded for those Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles action figures, and that worked, right? It has to work for some snow: snow is free!As you get older, this phenomenon eventually tapers off, as you’ve realized how badly you want something has little to no bearing on whether it happens: at least with regard to snowman DNA. Eventually, you get to college in Buffalo, only to find out it doesn’t snow there nearly as much as you’d heard.
But here I am in New York City, which apparently gets about two feet of snow per winter. I’m way more excited than I thought I would be for a snow day, mostly because I was convinced I’d never get another snow day in my life. Which is what led me to create Dominic’s Icy Precipitate Postulate of ‘09. Observe its elegant simplicity in chart form:
Look upon my works, ye employed, and despair! I am nerd of nerds!
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The News
HAHAHAHAHA
ahahahahaha
*gasp*
haaahahahaha
Jersey Shore’s Vinnie considering law school at Yale or Harvard:
“I took the LSAT. My score was decent. I had a plan that if my score was really well [sic], then I might of [sic] just went [sic] to Yale or Harvard… But it was just mediocre. I can get into law school,” he added. “I had a 3.9 GPA, Latin Honors [wtf], but I’m doing this right now. Law school is always on the back burner.”
ahahaahahaahahahahahahaha*aneurysm*
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A Day in the Life
Only Wikipedia
It’s not the world’s most accurate resource on lots of things, I’ll concede. But do you know how much a subscription to Helicopter Prison Escape Quarterly costs? It’s not worth the expense, in my expert opinion. Just go read the Wikipedia article. My favorite on the list is Pascal Payet, who has apparently escaped from prison in a helicopter three(!) times.
Just think of the Wikipedia articles in fifty years: the List of Jetpack Prison Escapes is waiting for us, in the future.
Almost Legally
Life does not imitate Judging Amy
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I don't know what's worse. Being too sick to make it to school to turn in your homework, or having to hand-write it in 2010.
